Fascinating, yet somewhat depressing, article entitled “Women know exactly what they’re doing when they use ‘weak language" by Dr Adam Grant in the New York Times. I have summarised the key points as best I can as the article is behind a paywall.
Grant questions past assumptions that if a woman wants to be heard then they must use forceful, demanding language. He now suggests that weak language can be a strategic advantage for women in the workplace.
Examples of weak language include the use of:
Disclaimers such as ‘I might be wrong, but …’,
Hedges e.g.‘maybe, sort of'
Tag questions e.g. ‘don't you think?’.
This approach can be used to signal interpersonal sensitivity and build rapport with others. This can be especially helpful for women, who are often stereotyped as being less assertive than men.
Grant cites 29 studies that support his claim. These studies found that weak language can lead to increased liking, cooperation, and persuasion. For example, one study found that women who used weak language were more likely to be hired for a job than women who used strong language.
He acknowledges that in many cultures, the gender stereotypes that men should be ‘dominant and assertive’ and that women should be ‘kind and caring’ still prevail. He cites new evidence [Ma, A., et al (2022)] that it is ‘not ambition that women are being penalised for 'but if they are seen to be ‘forceful, controlling, commanding and outspoken’. Worryingly the backlash is even more intense, ‘when a woman is Black’.
So instead of being judged on their ability, women are attacked for their personality being seen as ‘overbearing, abrasive, etc.’ Similarly men that come across as ‘too modest and too agreeable’ are often ‘liked less and paid less’.
Of course, weak language is not always appropriate. It is important to use it strategically and in moderation. However, Grant's findings suggest that women should not be afraid to use weak language when it is right for the situation. For example:
* Weak language can be used to signal humility and open-mindedness.
* It can also be used to build rapport and connection with others.
* When used effectively, weak language can be a powerful tool for persuasion.
Grant suggests that the answer is to normalise ‘weak language as a strong way to express concern and humility’ which will reduce the pressure for a woman to communicate more forcefully - assertion and not aggression.
I echo Grant, when he longs for the day when articles such as this are no longer needed.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/31/opinion/women-language-work.htmlMa, A., Rosette, A. S., & Koval, C. Z. (2022). Reconciling female agentic advantage and disadvantage with the CADDIS measure of agency. Journal of Applied Psychology, 107(12), 2115–2148.
https://doi.org/10.1037/apl0000550